The good ol’ checklist. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about– THE CHECKLIST!  The list of various qualities that we mentally noted and fantasized about as a young girl that imprinted on us exactly what we ought to be searching for in a lifelong partner.  If you were anything like me, and I know many of you were because I still hear women talking about this, your list is a mile long.

Let me share with you what was on my list:  educated, good family, trustworthy, loyal, put me on a pedestal, able to support a family, safe, provides certainty, reliable, not into playing games, accepted by my family, honest, lets not forget “Italian” etc.… the list was endless.

These qualities sound pretty great on paper…right?

So, what’s the problem?!!

First comes the mate checklist, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage… this was my version of the childhood playground song we all heard growing up. Sounds more like a contractual agreement than a love story.

Where did your mate checklist even come from? Have you ever asked yourself? Many of us carry the expectations of our family when looking for a partner.  We haven’t stopped to truly ask ourselves if this is what we really want, or are we trying to please those around us? Do I want to be with this person because they are “acceptable” and I don’t want to step outside the familial box?

Relationships come in many variations, and some people are ok with having a partner that meets the criteria on the checklist– and that’s fine.  In no way am I knocking this down, but there are many of you out there that want something more, and by more, I mean a SOUL CONNECTION.
What is a soul connection? A soul connection transcends checkmarks on a list.  It’s a connection that you don’t seek, it just happens.  This kind of connection transforms your life.  Somehow this person seems so familiar, and you feel instantly bonded.  Empowered by this connection your souls gravitate towards fulfilling their greatest potential.  And what is our greatest potential in a relationship? Is it not to ask how I can show up in this relationship to give more, and not just take?

A soul connection is a very deep and spiritual bond between people.  Most relationships are not this deep.  Yes, you may love your partner or even your family and friends, but it may not be at the level of the soul.  When you have a soul connection you both know that this is something special, and at the time it doesn’t always make sense.  But in time you will see that external factors brought you together.

Do you want this type of connection?

If so…you need to mentally shred the mate checklist forever!  That’s the first step.  The next step is to get rid of any exceptions when seeking a partner.  Walking around with expectations will only cause you to see with your eyes and not your heart–and this is what we desire, a relationship where two hearts connect on a spiritual level.  And lastly, be open to the many opportunities that come your way, especially those that don’t come in the package you are seeking.

People don’t talk about what happens when the honeymoon is over.   I found what was missing on my list; important key factors that go beyond words, beyond what the eyes can see, which are typically not sung in childhood playground songs.  A heart mesh soul connection has no words.  It’s a quiet knowing that can’t be described on paper– it goes beyond appearance, beyond status, and beyond time.  It’s a love that is unconditional, and when you find it your intuition will know.  It takes a strong woman to stand up and claim that love because it doesn’t always arrive in the package you were looking for. Because what you were looking for did not come from you, it came from those before you.   And if you don’t stop and see without your eyes… you just might miss it.