I intimately know what it feels like to go through the motions without any emotion, to live a robotic life, every day bleeding into the next. Waking up each morning only to find myself not wanting to get out of bed and live another day of monotony. Hoping and praying that my children would feel like a good enough reason, and then feeling guilty for thinking, “There has to be more.”
Having lived that life for so long, I couldn’t even remember how to live a purposeful life. Did I ever know? After allowing years of other’s expectations to chip away at the truth of who I was, feeling like I had no purpose, I completely lost sight of what it meant to truly live and feel alive.
How did I allow this to happen? I wasn’t living, not really. I merely existed in a world that was paved by the generations of women who came before me. I grabbed the baton of silence without questioning and continued to walk the path of “the good girl.”
It became easy to melt away into the backdrop, to do as I was told. All eyes focusing on someone else. Anywhere but on me felt safe. When you’re in survival mode, you rather not be seen. Being invisible becomes a way of life.
That is until your soul has had enough of your pity party, forcing you to look in the mirror and face your reflection. I didn’t like what was staring back at me, I knew I was here for more, and if I wanted to start living, I had to dig deep and find the courage to ask a few profound questions.
Here is My 5 Step Process to Go From Existing to Living a Life With Purpose
- What lights you up? What interests you? What is the God-given gift that only you possess, the one that seems so effortless that there is no question it’s yours?––It’s what draws you in like a magnet. It’s time to get back to you! Why are you here? You aren’t here to allow others to pull your strings like a puppet, but people will if you aren’t clear about who you are.
There is a spirit inside of you that wants you to listen to it, to see it, and to connect to it. It has something to say, and I can guarantee it has tried to get your attention, but you’ve been too busy trying to please everyone else. Not anymore!
- If you could do or be anything, and money wasn’t an issue, what would it be? This question sparks creation. Creation is more powerful than survival. And where does creation start?—in the mind first. Creation asks WHAT and WHY, and it leaves the HOW to a higher power who can see what we can’t possibly comprehend.
Staying in survival mode allows limiting beliefs to sabotage you and keep you stuck and spinning over and over again right back into the same experience. You have to be willing to think greater than the continual cycle. By asking more empowering questions, it gets you to start thinking about what is possible.
- You can’t wait to feel joy, happiness, or passion at some later date or when you achieve a specific outcome. You have to start feeling it before the experience. You have to visualize it already happening. Dr. Joe Dispenza is an expert on this point right here. His book, “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself,” explains how if we want to feel different emotions, we have to feel and imagine it happening before the experience.
I had to break the habit of living in a monotonous place. I conditioned myself to live in that place from past experience, so every day seemed like I was spinning in the same hamster wheel, reliving the same experience over and over again. It was unfulfilling because it wasn’t the life I designed. I wasn’t the creator of the masterpiece… yet.
- Do you need to set boundaries? Boundaries with people or even with yourself? Do you need to practice saying NO? Are you always giving and giving and feeling like you have nothing left for you? If so, how’s that working out for you? I’m going to guess that it’s not.
Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. It’s saying to the universe that you value yourself enough to put the oxygen mask on first because you are useful to no one if you don’t. Boundaries are a way to free up space so that you can put the focus back on yourself and start living a life that is yours. And, boundaries teach other people how you want to be treated.
- Do it before you are ready. We never want to be uncomfortable, but in order to have new experiences, it’s a must!
Define what fully living means to you. What needs to happen before you can feel like you are fully alive? Do you need more joy, freedom, happiness, presence, gratitude? Now, what is getting in the way of you feeling all those things right now?
You’re not dependent on anything external to make you feel any of these things right now. Nobody can make you feel a certain way. Your aliveness comes from inside yourself, and it overflows to everyone else around you.
Join my Facebook group dedicated to women who are contemplating divorce, are separated, or already divorced HERE.
It’s my intention to create a safe place for authentic healing, the kind of healing that reconnects you to your power.
If you are going through a divorce and you’re feeling alone, confused, or stuck, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.