Let’s be real for a minute; not every person in your life belongs at your kitchen table. We all have people in our lives that are not the most positive and uplifting, and some are just downright toxic. When we are around them, our soul cringes, our mood changes, our walls go up, and we don’t feel safe to be who we are.
So why do we still have them in our lives?
If you are anything like me, you were raised to be a good girl, be obedient, and not speak up when you are mistreated. God forbid we hurt someone’s feelings by speaking our truth and setting boundaries to show others how we will be treated.
As a young child, you may have never been given the tools to use when your boundaries were crossed. Unless you were raised by enlightened conscious parents, which most of us were not, you would figure out that you need some tools to detox your environment from what isn’t serving you.
Why would you need to detox your environment? I want you to envision yourself as being encircled by an invisible energy field. This invisible energy field is your greatest protection; it is your greatest form of self-love. The purpose of this energy field is to shield out anything that doesn’t align with your highest good. Not everyone has your best interest at heart, and it isn’t their job to figure out what that is. It’s your responsibility to protect yourself from those getting in the way of you living your truth.
Who is in charge of knowing what your highest good is?—your spirit. Your spirit knows exactly what it needs to thrive, and your spirit desires that you practice discernment and listening in stillness. When you’re in alignment, nothing will get past your energy field unless it supports you, encourages you, uplifts you, or grows you, and if it doesn’t, it should not be allowed in.
Let me give you some examples of what you may need to consider detoxing from your environment:
- Anyone that is keeping you stuck in your victim story
- People who continuously gossip or talk badly about other people
- Consuming negative programming like the news
- Being stuck in a soul-sucking job
- Friendships that don’t encourage you, support you, uplift you, or allow you to be who you are
- Mindlessly scrolling through social media accounts only to find yourself in the comparison trap
- Fighting and proving yourself worthy to anyone
- Defending your choices
Your environment should be supporting your goals, and if it’s not, it’s time to clean the closet. This may be the point where a coach comes in handy because you may not even know your goals. We are often reactive to our environment and don’t have a clear vision of what we want, and we have nobody to keep us accountable. If you don’t have a target, you will have no idea where to aim.
So, how do we get rid of these people or things that rob us of our joy?
Here are My 5 Steps to Detoxing Your Environment From Energy Thieves?
- The first step is always awareness. Take an assessment of your daily surroundings: who are the top five people you spend most of your time with, what are you consuming daily (listening to, watching, and reading), notice how your body feels when you are in your environment taking in information.
If the people in your life are taking from you (emotionally, mentally, and physically), causing you to feel bankrupt, then it’s time to make some hard decisions.
- Make space for new energy in your life. Loss is part of life. We are so afraid to let go of people and things that no longer serve us, but you have to be willing to ask yourself what you will gain by making room in your life? Nothing good can come into your life if you are fighting to keep things status quo.
I get that this is hard to do, but this is where faith comes in. Having faith that there is more for you if you’re willing to let go of the grip is challenging, but it has great rewards.
You have the power to create something greater by having a vision for what is possible if you are willing to surrender your energy and let go. If you want new energy to come into your life, you will have to make space to invite that in.
- Get comfortable with being alone. So many of us will do anything and everything to not be alone. Instead, we settle for a toxic relationship rather than do the work to get out because being alone terrifies us. We stay distracted, entertained, and addicted to the chaos, and we never ask ourselves what life would be like without it.
I know, I was terrified of being alone after my divorce. What I didn’t realize was that in the alone-ness, in the cocoon, was where I found my truth; it’s the only truth that exists. You have to be willing to get uncomfortable if you want to grow, and if the people in your life are not your biggest supporters rooting for you, you need to find new people.
- Get rid of the limiting belief that you have nobody to help you. I’m calling BS on this one! Why, because I had this same ridiculous belief. We have never been more supported on our journey to living our full potential than right now, and you may not know it yet, but you already have everything you need inside of you. You just need to sit in the alone-ness long enough to listen to your spirit guide you.
Language is so powerful. If you keep telling yourself that you are not supported, guess what, you will precisely get that. So get ready to change the script. Affirmations are a great way to reprogram your mind. The new script should be: I am supported, I am guided, I am powerful. You might not believe it now, but eventually, you will wash away those negative thoughts that keep you stuck.
- People will turn their backs on you when you set boundaries, and it’s not your job to worry about how it makes them feel. “Oh, you’re speaking up now? You’ve certainly changed. I don’t even know who you are anymore,” are just a few things I have heard others say throughout the years when setting boundaries.
Living your truth will trigger people. Why? Because they aren’t living their truth. Even the people that love you may not know how to support you. Not because they don’t love you, but because nobody taught them how to stand in their power.
Not everyone is your cheerleader, and that’s ok. It’s your responsibility to be your biggest fan, to love and support yourself so much that it doesn’t matter if the environment can’t do it for you. Understand that to some people living your truth and setting boundaries may be a revolutionary concept.
Like anything, at first, this will feel awkward and uncomfortable. Guilt may try and creep in and sabotage you. But like a muscle, training will grow you into your full power, and before you know it, you will be a boundary machine.
If you need extra support on detoxing your environment and setting boundaries, you can always schedule a complimentary call with me right here:
https://calendly.com/coachmarisa/sample-event-type. I would love to hear from you.