Whether you are contemplating a divorce or newly divorced, protecting your energy is vital to the healing process.
Right now, you may be “in the wound,” in a place that you haven’t entirely made out to the other side yet. When you are in the wound, you do not have the language to articulate your experience. Survival is all that matters at this point.
Let me explain what I mean by survival.
When your house is on fire, you don’t stop to explain what happened. You just run out as fast as you can with your family and get to safety. That’s what it feels like when you are in the thick of a divorce.
If you are in this place, here are some tips to protect your energy so you can begin the steps back towards living your truth…
1. Let go of the need to explain your situation to anyone.
When people catch wind of your divorce, all of a sudden, everyone wants to know what happened. You might even hear from people you haven’t talked to in years.
The reality is that you do not have the language yet to articulate what just happened, not entirely, and you don’t owe anyone anything.
The first person to show up to the party in a divorce is typically the ego. The ego wants to protect itself and defend itself, and it will do anything and everything to not feel the reality of the dissolution of the marriage down to the core of the truth.
The ego will represent the victim’s story, and the victim’s story is one of disempowerment. No matter who wanted out of the marriage, you are not a victim. You are a powerful being created for something greater.
2. Get comfortable with being alone.
Right now, you are on your island alone. You are going to feel alone; there is no way around this feeling in a divorce. It is the number one common feeling that all of us experience.
But I want to share with you that this is not a bad thing.
When we are alone on our island, that’s the opportune time to sit in stillness, step away from the chaos, and reconnect to our authentic self to find our true strength. When you find your strength in this place, it is authentic because you are not using anyone else’s strength as your crutch.
This place feels like being alone in the wild, not knowing where you are going, and learning how to reconnect to the spirit within. Spirit is there to guide you back to living a life of truth, but you can’t hear it if you give your energy to everyone else.
3. Practice massive boundaries!
I am sure you have heard this over and over again, practice boundaries. But what I see are moms not knowing how to do this without feeling guilty. We have been made to believe that boundaries are mean, that we aren’t being the “good girl” that we were raised to be, that we have to be responsible for everyone else’s feelings.
That could not be further from the truth. Boundaries are the ultimate act of self-love. Boundaries tell everyone in your environment that nothing will enter your invisible energy field unless it’s in alignment with your truth, with your highest good.
You are protecting and nurturing yourself as you would a newborn baby. You wouldn’t allow anything around a newborn that was threatening it, so why wouldn’t you do the same for yourself? You wouldn’t worry about how others receive those boundaries. How they receive your boundaries is their responsibility, NOT YOURS.
4.If you want something to die, you have to stop breathing life into it.
Whatever you focus on grows. If you focus on your divorce and how it has taken your power away, guess what? That’s all you will see.
If the topic of conversation is your divorce, if all your thoughts are focused on your ex and what they are doing, or if your family and friends keep you stuck in your divorce story, this is all you will continue to live.
I am not even going to lie; my divorce was the topic of conversation for years. It felt like being inside a hamster wheel, spinning and spinning, getting nowhere. And what this did was keep me paralyzed in the wound, to the point where I couldn’t see my purpose in life because I was too busy in the hamster wheel.
It was not until I took myself out of the wheel, stopped breathing life into my divorce story that I took my power back. When I did that was when I was able to see my truth and my purpose.
Your purpose is not to stay stuck in your divorce story. You are here for something more splendid, just like I am. But to see what that is, you have to put some tools into practice to feel safe again.
If this resonates with you and you would like to explore more of this, please feel free to set up a complimentary call with me. I would love to be your guide in reconnecting you back to your truth.
Set up a complimentary call HERE!